Debt and in"debt"ness

A conversation among parents about children, studies and peer pressure got me thinking about adults.

We worry about children comparing themselves with one another — marks, schools, sports, activities, who is ahead and who is falling behind.

And I found myself wondering whether adulthood is really that different.

Are we really free of comparison once we grow up?

Salary. Job title. House. Investments. Net worth.

I noticed this particularly during my years in the United States. Conversations about stocks, investing and making money seemed to come up often around me.

I need money too. I have education debt to repay. I want to take care of my family and make sure my daughter has what she needs.

So this is not really about whether wanting money is good or bad.

It made me wonder about something simpler.

Where does need end?

Where does want begin?

And when does want quietly become “more”?

Because there always seems to be another number to chase.

That brought me back to the original conversation about children.

Perhaps comparison does not disappear as we grow older. Perhaps it simply changes form.

And do we ever pause to notice that?

Somewhere in the middle of this thought, I started thinking about debt.

I have financial debt of my own, and naturally I want to clear it.

But then I thought about another kind of debt.

One I would actually like to acquire.

In"debt"ness.

An awareness of how much of what I have did not come from me alone.

Parents.

Teachers.

Friends.

Family.

People who gave me opportunities.

People who helped when they did not have to.

And sometimes simply luck.

What I have noticed is how quickly what I already have becomes normal, while what I do not have remains visible.

So while I want to get rid of one debt, perhaps I want to acquire more of the other.

Not financial debt.

In"debt"ness.

Maybe so much of life comes back to awareness.

Awareness of what is driving us.

Awareness of what we actually need.

And awareness of how much we have already received.

The thought that started all this was actually about children.

I am still thinking about what we really want to teach them in a world like this.

Before I share where my own thinking is going, I thought I would leave that question here for a while.

A recent moment with my daughter made me look at the question differently.

I’ll come back to that in the next piece.