Essay
Growing Together
The Hardest Part of Parenting No One Talks About
Parenting is not only about helping a child grow. It also requires parents to keep changing, listening and learning alongside them.
The first time I felt that was when my daughter started preschool. We dropped her at 8 AM… and my wife and I sat in the McDonald’s next door until 12 noon waiting for school to end.
She walked in smiling. We were the emotional ones. She was ready. We weren’t.
This week, that feeling returned, in a bigger way.
My daughter is going on her first 4-day Outdoor Education trip to Big Bear. Her first time away from us for so long. She packed her own bag, made her own checklist, and ran to join her friends with full confidence.
And once again, my wife and I shared that quiet moment parents know so well, that mix of pride, nervousness, and the realization that your child is growing faster than you expected.
My wife felt it deeply too. She teaches our daughter things I don’t: how to take care of herself, how to stay thoughtful, how to stay organized. She even said, “She’s growing faster than I’m ready for.” And I could tell she was a little more nervous than our daughter, who was already laughing and chatting with her friends.
The school gave us option to write letters and we chose to write one for each night she’ll be away. I thought it would be simple… but when I actually sat down to write, everything shifted.
These letters made me think:
What do I really want her to learn? How do I guide her without making her feel like we’re missing her? How do I add meaning without adding emotional weight?
And that’s when I realized something important.
This trip isn’t just her milestone. It’s ours.
A chance for us, as parents, to practice the very values we want her to carry: confidence, curiosity, kindness, gratitude, responsibility, and the courage to try something new.
Because independence isn’t taught in one moment. It’s practiced in all the small moments when we trust our children to step forward and trust ourselves to step back.
She’ll return with stories, memories, and experiences that will shape her. And we’ll be here, growing alongside her.
Children grow fast. But sometimes, parenting asks us to grow even faster.
For the parents reading this what was the moment you felt your child growing up before you were ready?